Idle Chit Chat

The following is one of many ridiculous, but regular, conversations that go on during the holidays with my family.

Up to this point we had been discussing Nair and how it wouldn't be a good idea to use it on your lady parts. We also came to the conclusions that lady parts were unattractive, with or without hair, and then this happened:

As you read imagine the text with a southern drawl. We all have it and it gets worse when we're together.

Mom: Well I just think that male genitals are the ugliest things ever. I mean, don't ya'll just think a pen!s is the ugliest thing you've ever seen?

We laugh and generally agree.

Mom: Honestly I think it was Adam's punishment after the fall of man. I think God made it look ugly after they ate the fruit.

Me: Well if it was his punishment then why wasn't it in the Bible? "And God smote Adam with an ugly pen!s so that he would be less attractive to Eve."

Aunt Pam: It wasn't in scripture because Adam was created in God's image and God is perfect, so they couldn't talk about an ugly pen!s.

Later we relayed the whole theory to my grandmother, the matriarch of my family, who took it all in stride with a look of distaste:

Ma-maw: ::Shakes head::

Me: Don't look at us like that, you raised us.

Ma-maw: Well, I didn't have anything to do with this

Mom: Aw, come on Momma. You know God's probably laughing at us. He has a sense of humor.

Aunt Pam: He'd have to if he created something like the pen!s.