Sunday, April 19, 2009

Picking up the pieces

I've spent the better part of two days trying to figure out exactly what to tell you about my accident.

I could tell you about the pain, but I don't want to seem whiny and on the whole I'm so grateful that it isn't worse any pain I'm experiencing sort of pales in comparison.

I could tell you about the accident itself, but I don't really remember much. I saw a large white vehicle coming at me and the next thing I knew I was in my car, unable to breathe, trying to grasp what had just happened.

The whole thing has made me evaluate my life and how I live it. I know that's kind of a cliche statement, but until you face something that could have so swiftly taken everything from you it isn't something you understand. I'm not even sure I still understand it all.

I'm still processing.

Processing my injuries and how much time it will take to heal.

Processing that my car is gone. That's been hard to grasp. I've told you how much it meant to me, and though I know it's so much more trivial than what could have been, it's my reality right now. I loved it and for ten years it was a part of who I was.

Right now the thing that keeps me going most is knowing, definitely, that it is all going to be alright. There are so many people facing worse things and with so much more grace than me.

Eventually we'll settle back into the normal. It will be a new normal, but it will be a schedule and constancy is always comforting.

I am eternally grateful for everyone who has reached out. All the kind words and prayers sent up for me. I can never say thank you enough, and I hope in the future to be able to pay you all back in kind. Though under different circumstances because I could never wish this on anyone.

I'll keep you updated on my recovery of course and once I can remember everything I'll share some more details of the accident and days that followed. It's all kind of a blur right now.

Here is what's left of my car. It looks really rough, but I can say with a little pride that I think it won. The other car was about twice the size of mine, but of course it was newer and as such did not contain as much steel. I have images of it, but it isn't my property so I don't feel comfortable posting it for the world. You can clearly see where my car made it's impression and there is a lot more left of my front end. I know that's a silly thing to be proud of, but it helps me to know that even in the end my car was there for me.