But don't tell anybody

Clearly I'm being punished for something. I don't know what, but as soon as I figure it out I'm going to do some sort of penance. Lent is coming up, so maybe I can make amends with God then. Seriously something has to give.

Remember when I told you that I don't like to keep secrets? Well, I don't. Primarily because I'm just not very good at it. Being a good secret keeper is not a virtue that I posses. Just like patience, that particular personality trait eluded me when I came into this world, and I haven't acquired either talent thus far.

So what's the problem? My friends, in the last month or so I've somehow come to know of four, count them, f-o-u-r totally unrelated secrets.

My head is literally about to explode. Also, I'm pretty sure that I'm going to be struck down the next time I tell a lie or avoid the truth to keep these secrets.

In truth, there is one secret that I'm happy to keep. I wanted to know and until I get the go ahead I'll take it to my grave. But the rest of them? I really just don't care. The only reason I know anything is because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and honestly the fact that anyone wants to keep these things a secret is beyond me. And in some cases the originator of the secret ought to have kept their big trap shut in the first place.

I can't tell any of you either. I promise to spill the beans as soon as I can. But for now I just had to tell you about my silent agony. And in the mean time if you plan on talking to me and are going to end any sentence with, "But don't tell anyone, okay?", just do me a favor and leave me alone.